Friends

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The life of an expat is really unique. Working on a military base, I often commented on how amazing the kids were. Military kids move every three years, sometimes more often, and are really amazing at fitting in to new schools and environments. Then, I would comment on how I felt bad for the small group of kids of contractors, the kids who stayed for many years. I would note that it must be tougher for them in a way, because their friends were always coming and going, but for them, life remained the same, and they were the ones who had to be most flexible.
Seven years later, and I have now realized that I am in the same boat as the second group of kids I mentioned. Expat communities ebb and flow. Some of the friends I have made here have connections to the military, and fall into the first group of kids, they move about every three years. Most of my friends though fall into another group, they may be here for a year, they may be here for 10 years, but a lot simply don't know how long they will be here.
Our plan, on the other hand, is pretty constant. Of course, I know long-term plans can change. But, for right now, we are here for the long-run. I am happy here and am pleased with the thought of raising kids here. One thing that I find difficult though is the friend situation.
I have met some of the most incredible people here, and I am so happy to call these people my friends. I feel like the friends I have made here are stronger friendships than many of those I made at home, it seems that we are on a similar wavelength, and I feel like I can really be myself with my "here" friends. The only problem is that many of them have moved, will move, or may move. I won't.
Sadly, I have lost contact with many of them who have moved. Email is great, Facebook is great, but sometimes, even these methods can't support a friendship.
One of my friends moved back to Arizona almost two years ago. Although Ashley and I would say "hi" to each other every now and then, we didn't really communicate since she left. She was a good friend of mine, and I have felt her absence for the 2 years since she left.
Spurred by new phone service we have, with unlimited U.S. minutes, I decided to give Ashley a call today. It was wonderful talking to an old friend. Given all that is going on right now, it felt so good to hear about someone else's happiness. It gave me hope that things can and will change, and all that Joern and I are going through now will not last. It was also wonderful to hear her thoughts and ideas, both of which I always appreciated from Ashley. She was always someone I could rely on to listen when I needed to vent, and offered advice only when I asked for it. And knowing that she is still there is really something that has done my heart good.
I am really thankful to Joern for getting this new phone service. Somehow, knowing that we have all these minutes we are paying for has really given me a greater drive to call home. Given how these expat friends of mine come and go, it is nice to know I can hold on to some of these friends long after they have moved far away.